Who Gets the Dog? What Really Happens When Couples Go to War Over Their Pet

There is a moment in many breakups — somewhere between the division of furniture and the return of house keys — when someone looks at the dog and says: and what about him?

It is, increasingly, the most contested question in the room. And the legal system is only just beginning to catch up.

Dogs Are Still Property. Legally Speaking.

Under the law in most US states, dogs are classified as personal property — no different, in the eyes of a court, from a sofa or a television set. When a relationship ends, ownership is typically determined by whoever has documentary proof: the adoption receipt, the purchase record, the microchip registration, the vet bills. The person who paid is, broadly speaking, the person who gets the dog.

This is, of course, a deeply inadequate framework for what is, for millions of people, a member of the family. Courts have begun to acknowledge this. In 2016, Alaska became the first state to require judges to consider the wellbeing of the animal in custody disputes. California, Illinois, New York, Maine, New Hampshire, Delaware, Washington DC, and Rhode Island have since passed similar legislation. It is slow progress, but it is progress — and it reflects something that dog owners have known for a very long time: these animals are not furniture.

The Cases That Made Legal History

The most frequently cited example of just how far people will go is the case of Gigi — a pointer-greyhound cross adopted from a shelter by a San Diego couple who divorced in 2000. What followed was a three-day hearing involving animal behaviorists, bonding studies, and a birthday card signed from the dog addressed to her "mommy." The wife ultimately won. The total cost of the legal battle: reportedly $150,000. For a dog from a shelter.

In Travis v. Murray, a New York court was asked to decide the fate of a miniature dachshund named Joey. Rather than treating him as an item to be distributed like silverware, the judge reasoned that a "best for all concerned" standard — somewhere between pure property law and a full child custody analysis — was the most appropriate framework. It was a quietly radical decision, and one that has influenced cases across the country since.

In Houseman v. Dare, a New Jersey appellate court upheld an oral co-parenting agreement between an unmarried couple over their pug, Dexter — finding that their informal shared arrangement was legally enforceable. The court opened the door for the trial judge to order joint physical custody, which it effectively did.

These cases matter because they represent a legal system straining against its own definitions — and gradually, reluctantly, beginning to treat the dog as something closer to what he actually is.

What Courts Actually Look At

When a case does reach a court, judges — in states where they have discretion — will typically consider who originally selected and paid for the dog, who provided the majority of day-to-day care, who took the dog to the vet, who trained them, and what living situation would best serve the animal going forward. Witnesses, photographs, and years of vet records all become evidence. The process is, in other words, not entirely unlike a child custody proceeding — except without the legal infrastructure that makes child custody proceedings function efficiently.

Most cases, mercifully, never get that far. Mediation — where a neutral third party helps the couple reach an agreement — is almost always preferable to litigation, both emotionally and financially. The Gigi case at $150,000 is an extreme, but legal fees for a contested pet custody case can easily reach tens of thousands of dollars. For a dog who will, with any luck, live another decade.

The Bigger Picture: Dogs Are the New Children

None of this happens in a vacuum. A 2024 Harris Poll of 2,000 Americans found that 43% now prefer pets over children, with 82% of pet owners describing their pet as being like their own child. San Francisco is now home to nearly 150,000 dogs but just 115,000 children under age 18. Seattle has more households with cats than with kids. 

As human birthrates hit historic lows — down 3% even from 2022 according to the CDC — pet ownership has surged in the opposite direction, with 70% of surveyed millennial pet owners saying they view their dog or cat as their child. 

This is not simply sentimentality. It reflects a genuine shift in how people structure their lives — the delayed families, the single-person households, the careers prioritized over parenthood. Dogs have stepped into the space that children once occupied. They are fed premium food, carried in handbags, included in wills, and yes — fought over in court when relationships end. The emotional stakes are, for many people, identical to those of a custody battle. The legal framework, for the most part, still treats the dog like a piece of furniture.

That gap is where the damage happens.

A Personal Note on Getting It Right

I got Atticus, my Rottweiler, during a relationship that later ended. Fortunately, our breakup was amicable — and after a period of adjustment, we figured out a co-parenting arrangement that worked genuinely well for both of us. Shared costs. Shared travel cover. The particular relief of having someone who loved him as much as I did when life got complicated. It was, looking back, one of the more functional arrangements either of us managed post-breakup.

Not everyone is that fortunate. And not everyone thinks to make a plan before they need one.

What You Should Do Before It Becomes a Problem

The honest answer is: decide before you get the dog, not after. A simple written agreement at the time of adoption — who owns the dog, who pays for what, what happens if the relationship ends — is not unromantic. It is sensible. Several states will uphold these agreements as enforceable contracts.

If you are already past that point and find yourself in dispute, gather every receipt, vet record, and photograph you have. Pursue mediation before litigation. And if you genuinely loved the dog equally, consider whether a co-parenting arrangement — imperfect and occasionally complicated — might be better for everyone, including the dog, than the alternative.

Because the alternative, as Gigi's story rather emphatically demonstrates, helps nobody. Least of all the dog.

Disclaimer: This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Laws vary significantly by state. Please consult a qualified attorney for guidance specific to your situation.

Enid Blythe makes luxury orthopedic dog beds designed to support your dog throughout every stage of life. Five percent of every sale goes to canine cancer research — in memory of Atticus, and for every dog who deserves more time.